how can u be prego again
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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