I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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