Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
