Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
