I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
