Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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