no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
