even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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