Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
