her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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