your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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