people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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