The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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