You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
