paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
