you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
