I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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