Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
