Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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