nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
