Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
