his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
