you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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