strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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