Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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