1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
