yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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