just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
