Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
