What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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