How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
