he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drake has all the answers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
