bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
