I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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