when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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