so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
