I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
