it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
