My liver just broke up with me...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
