i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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