you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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