I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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