i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
