Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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