And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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