Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
