This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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