I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
