I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
