That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
