Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
